Trust

I have been struggling to write this past week for a number of reasons.  One BIG reason: a sick little beaner with one heck of a cold!  The other big reason...wrestling between saying something safe and saying something honest!  Is there a happy medium between the two?  I'm not sure! 

Here's what I'm thinking...

Part of my professional job is to assist students in understanding what a goal is and then assisting them in building objectives to reach that goal.  Just by asking the simple question, "what are the goals and dreams you have for your life?" to my students provides me valuable insight into the person's ambitions and drive!  For instance, when a student tells me they wanna "pass school" and then proceed to tell me that in order to do this they need to "think hard and study more", I can pretty much gather that they don't trust me enough to tell me they want to be a doctor, a lawyer, or even a ballerina!  And ya know what?  That's okay! 

On the other hand, at the mere thought of a future life goal, some students start envisioning themselves scaling Mt. Everest or building time machines and lay out a very specific plan as to how they need to get to these goals (usually including nothing short of, "figuring out the secrets to life").  Those are the kids who trust A LOT.  They trust me, they trust their neighbors, they trust the stranger on the street without a bit of question.  These are the kids I know I need to help develop AWARENESS. 

These past few weeks, I have been really questioning who it is in my life that I trust.  In a conversation with a very close friend this week, I shared some of my concerns as a professional and as a mother.  She listened, as she always does, with such conviction and I could tell she was really hanging on every word before she responded.  And then she thanked me for trusting her to talk with her about these things so candidly.  Thanked ME!  On the other hand this past week, I had shared some mild and insignificant, yet confidential news with a different friend before I was ready to tell everyone just yet.  By the end of the day, another person was coming up to me and sharing that she knew my whole story.  It made me die a little inside because I realized that not everyone holds confidence and trust as high on the value pole as I do.  And then! I got to thinking about whether or not I am a trustworthy person!  Can people come to me with information and trust that I will hold it without blabbing?  If not, what can I do to gain that trust again? 

I'm not really sure there's a clear-cut answer to this question other than to "Start Fresh".  Sometimes in life we need to just STOP and take a long hard look at our lives.  Am I who I want to be? Am I someone my mother would be proud of? Can people talk to me about whatever they hold near and dear to their hearts without fearing I will pass it along?  Am I reaching those goals I so excitedly shared when I had a passionate fire under my skirt?  It's never too late to try and try again!  And this time around, I will leave those untrustworthy people behind. 


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