I have been struggling to write this past week for a number of reasons. One BIG reason: a sick little beaner with one heck of a cold! The other big reason...wrestling between saying something safe and saying something honest! Is there a happy medium between the two? I'm not sure!
Here's what I'm thinking...
Part of my professional job is to assist students in understanding what a goal is and then assisting them in building objectives to reach that goal. Just by asking the simple question, "what are the goals and dreams you have for your life?" to my students provides me valuable insight into the person's ambitions and drive! For instance, when a student tells me they wanna "pass school" and then proceed to tell me that in order to do this they need to "think hard and study more", I can pretty much gather that they don't trust me enough to tell me they want to be a doctor, a lawyer, or even a ballerina! And ya know what? That's okay!
On the other hand, at the mere thought of a future life goal, some students start envisioning themselves scaling Mt. Everest or building time machines and lay out a very specific plan as to how they need to get to these goals (usually including nothing short of, "figuring out the secrets to life"). Those are the kids who trust A LOT. They trust me, they trust their neighbors, they trust the stranger on the street without a bit of question. These are the kids I know I need to help develop AWARENESS.
These past few weeks, I have been really questioning who it is in my life that I trust. In a conversation with a very close friend this week, I shared some of my concerns as a professional and as a mother. She listened, as she always does, with such conviction and I could tell she was really hanging on every word before she responded. And then she thanked me for trusting her to talk with her about these things so candidly. Thanked ME! On the other hand this past week, I had shared some mild and insignificant, yet confidential news with a different friend before I was ready to tell everyone just yet. By the end of the day, another person was coming up to me and sharing that she knew my whole story. It made me die a little inside because I realized that not everyone holds confidence and trust as high on the value pole as I do. And then! I got to thinking about whether or not I am a trustworthy person! Can people come to me with information and trust that I will hold it without blabbing? If not, what can I do to gain that trust again?
I'm not really sure there's a clear-cut answer to this question other than to "Start Fresh". Sometimes in life we need to just STOP and take a long hard look at our lives. Am I who I want to be? Am I someone my mother would be proud of? Can people talk to me about whatever they hold near and dear to their hearts without fearing I will pass it along? Am I reaching those goals I so excitedly shared when I had a passionate fire under my skirt? It's never too late to try and try again! And this time around, I will leave those untrustworthy people behind.
To quote numerous search engines...was this blogpost helpful? Please share your thoughts and let me know what you think...I value your thoughts and opinions, as they help me grow and learn, too!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Small Victories
Have you ever been discouraged? Like, to the point where you question every decision you've ever made and wonder if it was the right one? Maybe after a good night's sleep, you decided things are going to be okay. Maybe you wrote down your thoughts and stored them for a rainy day. Or, perhaps you downed a carton of ice cream and realized, life isn't so strange after all. I like the third option best, personally!
But seriously...
Ya know those days were you just want to be amazing and do amazing things, and then the dishwasher breaks and you're right back to feeling like there's no way you'll ever reach AWESOME when all these stupid little things keep popping up! That's been the case for me lately.
For so long now, I've been dreaming these big dreams about major life choices. I want to write a book, I want to be a public speaker, I want to organize the coat closet, I want to run a 10k, I want to be recognized for being the change I wish to see in this world...I want to do this and that and this and that! I have so many goals and wishes and dreams, that I become overwhelmed. I mean really, Mother Teresa did not change the world over night, right?! Why do I think I can do better?!
I have a favorite tv show-Parenthood (Tuesday Nights on NBC). Long story short, I love it for the topics it addresses and the way it brings taboo topics to the forefront. If you're not a Parenthood fan (Shame on you!), the show is about a group of siblings and their families (along with their conveniently wealthy and supportive parents) and how they cope with big life issues. The particular episode I'm thinking of goes a little something like this...One of the family members is currently struggling with Breast Cancer and the affects of Chemo all while helping her adolescent son with Asperger's Syndrome understand why it is important to shower regularly. At the end of the episode, the son is seen in a bath towel, fresh from the shower and asking his father to borrow some deodorant. The mother looks at her husband and says, "Small Victories...Small Victories".
This episode stuck with me because it really put things in perspective! First of all, I am again reminded of how lucky I am to be alive and have the people in my life that I love. But also, I realized just how much even the little things matter. If you're a Religious person, you might have heard the Parable of the Mustard Seed that reminds us that even the smallest of seeds becomes the greatest of trees! In other words, even the smallest effort to achieve is a step in the right direction toward becoming successful.
So, tonight...instead of thinking about all the things that got in the way of me changing the world; I'm going to consider the small victories that happened for me today...like, getting both kids in bed by 8pm while my husband is coaching Basketball...or giving one of my counseling students the tools he needed to express his frustration in a positive way...and buying a friend a coffee--just to let her know I was thinking of her. And even though I didn't conquer all of my goals...I will not allow myself to feel discouraged. I will be the change...one step at a time.
If you enjoy my blog, please let me know! Follow me and Comment! I love feedback!!!
But seriously...
Ya know those days were you just want to be amazing and do amazing things, and then the dishwasher breaks and you're right back to feeling like there's no way you'll ever reach AWESOME when all these stupid little things keep popping up! That's been the case for me lately.
For so long now, I've been dreaming these big dreams about major life choices. I want to write a book, I want to be a public speaker, I want to organize the coat closet, I want to run a 10k, I want to be recognized for being the change I wish to see in this world...I want to do this and that and this and that! I have so many goals and wishes and dreams, that I become overwhelmed. I mean really, Mother Teresa did not change the world over night, right?! Why do I think I can do better?!
I have a favorite tv show-Parenthood (Tuesday Nights on NBC). Long story short, I love it for the topics it addresses and the way it brings taboo topics to the forefront. If you're not a Parenthood fan (Shame on you!), the show is about a group of siblings and their families (along with their conveniently wealthy and supportive parents) and how they cope with big life issues. The particular episode I'm thinking of goes a little something like this...One of the family members is currently struggling with Breast Cancer and the affects of Chemo all while helping her adolescent son with Asperger's Syndrome understand why it is important to shower regularly. At the end of the episode, the son is seen in a bath towel, fresh from the shower and asking his father to borrow some deodorant. The mother looks at her husband and says, "Small Victories...Small Victories".
This episode stuck with me because it really put things in perspective! First of all, I am again reminded of how lucky I am to be alive and have the people in my life that I love. But also, I realized just how much even the little things matter. If you're a Religious person, you might have heard the Parable of the Mustard Seed that reminds us that even the smallest of seeds becomes the greatest of trees! In other words, even the smallest effort to achieve is a step in the right direction toward becoming successful.
So, tonight...instead of thinking about all the things that got in the way of me changing the world; I'm going to consider the small victories that happened for me today...like, getting both kids in bed by 8pm while my husband is coaching Basketball...or giving one of my counseling students the tools he needed to express his frustration in a positive way...and buying a friend a coffee--just to let her know I was thinking of her. And even though I didn't conquer all of my goals...I will not allow myself to feel discouraged. I will be the change...one step at a time.
If you enjoy my blog, please let me know! Follow me and Comment! I love feedback!!!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Pay it Forward
Last night, I happened to read a facebook status of a friend that said the following:
2013 Pay it Forward Challenge: the first 5 people to comment on this post will randomly receive a homemade goody from me sometime this year. No warning, it'll just show up on your doorstep! The catch: you first five must also post this and do this for five people as well! Annnnd GO!
I loved this! How great! 5 of her friends near and far would be given the gift of homemade goodness....which I'm told is fabulous, and the pictures she posts of the food she makes leave me drooling like a St. Bernard at a picnic. So, of course I was the first person to comment! And then I got to thinking...WHAT IF I post this status and give myself an added challenge of kindness?! What if I not only send homemade treats to 5 people who comment, but I also send a special treat to an agency or First Responder station of their choice?! Oh, and these special treats will be given in the name of whoever commented as a way of keeping up with the true theory behind it--to Pay it Forward!
Sooooo, here we go friends! The first 5 people who read this blog and comment will receive a special homemade goody from me and an agency or First Responder Station of their choice will also receive a special treat in their name! But don't forget to PAY IT FORWARD! :)
**NOTE: Please do not put your address in the comment...simply leave an alternative method for me to retrieve your address without the world of Blog knowing it (ie--junk email address)! :)
Ready.....GO!
2013 Pay it Forward Challenge: the first 5 people to comment on this post will randomly receive a homemade goody from me sometime this year. No warning, it'll just show up on your doorstep! The catch: you first five must also post this and do this for five people as well! Annnnd GO!
I loved this! How great! 5 of her friends near and far would be given the gift of homemade goodness....which I'm told is fabulous, and the pictures she posts of the food she makes leave me drooling like a St. Bernard at a picnic. So, of course I was the first person to comment! And then I got to thinking...WHAT IF I post this status and give myself an added challenge of kindness?! What if I not only send homemade treats to 5 people who comment, but I also send a special treat to an agency or First Responder station of their choice?! Oh, and these special treats will be given in the name of whoever commented as a way of keeping up with the true theory behind it--to Pay it Forward!
Sooooo, here we go friends! The first 5 people who read this blog and comment will receive a special homemade goody from me and an agency or First Responder Station of their choice will also receive a special treat in their name! But don't forget to PAY IT FORWARD! :)
**NOTE: Please do not put your address in the comment...simply leave an alternative method for me to retrieve your address without the world of Blog knowing it (ie--junk email address)! :)
Ready.....GO!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Fullfilling a Need
Hi and welcome to my new blog, Kindness 364. 364? Why not 365, you ask? Well, it's fairly simply...365 was taken! And, well...since it's already January 2nd, I decided that this was fate.
The next questions you might be asking are, why this blog? What purpose does it serve? What can I get out of it? Well, my friends, let me take you on a little journey into the world of Karen and her quest to find Kindness 364 days of the year.
Here we go!
As I sit here to write my first blog entry, I am cozied up in my pjs at the kitchen table that has been passed down two generations, husband sitting across from me (reading some crazy zombie book that he keeps popping his head out of to explain to me why a zombie apocalypse could actually happen) and kids nestled in their beds fast asleep (well, mostly--one is stirring as I type), I can't help but wonder WHY?! Why am I so blessed with the gift of a house, a husband who loves me, two children, a dog who obeys commands, a car (two, actually), and so many other things when I have family, friends, relatives, coworkers, acquaintances who are faced with struggles beyond my comprehension? How is it fair?!
A little less than a month ago, our nation encountered a horrific tragedy during the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. Though I thank God for my family daily, it still shook me to realize how precious life is...even sweet, innocent lives such as those lost in their safe place-an elementary school. Then, sadness hit home even more as I learned of first responders in my greater community being killed by selfish acts of hate and violence. It just so happened that this tragedy occurred on a very close family friend's 21st birthday-who also happens to be a volunteer fireman and knew the ones who were killed. All this got me thinking a lot about life and what it really is that I have to offer!
As a school social worker, my job is to listen. For 7 years in the career, I have heard stories of parents beating their children; young girls getting raped; what happens to your body when you huff too much at one time (it is horrific, trust me). I've listened as tiny little people explain to me how "Mom is sleeping with our neighbor, and that's why Daddy doesn't love her anymore". I've seen drawings of guns, grenades, blood, pills, and killers. And through all of this, I have come to realize that until each of us does SOMETHING, these things will continue to happen.
Perhaps it is because I am rapidly approaching my 30's, or maybe it is just because of my upbringing; but, I can't help but feel guilty for not doing more all these years. How can I be so equipped with the knowledge to help and sit back and just LISTEN?! When I was in high school and college, chances are you'd find me performing some act of service somewhere for someone. I lived and breathed helping others. Then, as I got older and busier (read: more consumed with bureaucracy and politics of real life), I lost sight of what was really important to me for so long.
I think it was in the shower, probably while rinsing conditioner out of my thick, frizzy, brunette mane (that I love, by the way), that I came to the conclusion that I need to do more! I need to be able to die (hopefully a long time from now) knowing my children will understand what it means to serve others and to empathize with those who need. I need to feel like my life was more than just going through the motions, day by day. I need to stand up and DO!
So! As a way of starting to DO, I will be documenting people, things, and places in my life that, for me, embrace the DO mentality. Through this blog, I hope to inspire others to DO, and when the going's tough and it's increasingly harder to get off our butts and help others when we feel so low in our own lives, I hope this blog serves as a safe space to remember that it is never too late to try! The other day, my sister reminded me that New Year's Resolutions "are a marathon not a race". I think that statement speaks volumes to what I am trying to do here. I hope, if nothing else, you can take a piece of this blog and find your own inspiration to DO and create the kindness our world so desperately needs 364 days of the year ;).
Peace and Love,
Karen
The next questions you might be asking are, why this blog? What purpose does it serve? What can I get out of it? Well, my friends, let me take you on a little journey into the world of Karen and her quest to find Kindness 364 days of the year.
Here we go!
As I sit here to write my first blog entry, I am cozied up in my pjs at the kitchen table that has been passed down two generations, husband sitting across from me (reading some crazy zombie book that he keeps popping his head out of to explain to me why a zombie apocalypse could actually happen) and kids nestled in their beds fast asleep (well, mostly--one is stirring as I type), I can't help but wonder WHY?! Why am I so blessed with the gift of a house, a husband who loves me, two children, a dog who obeys commands, a car (two, actually), and so many other things when I have family, friends, relatives, coworkers, acquaintances who are faced with struggles beyond my comprehension? How is it fair?!
A little less than a month ago, our nation encountered a horrific tragedy during the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. Though I thank God for my family daily, it still shook me to realize how precious life is...even sweet, innocent lives such as those lost in their safe place-an elementary school. Then, sadness hit home even more as I learned of first responders in my greater community being killed by selfish acts of hate and violence. It just so happened that this tragedy occurred on a very close family friend's 21st birthday-who also happens to be a volunteer fireman and knew the ones who were killed. All this got me thinking a lot about life and what it really is that I have to offer!
As a school social worker, my job is to listen. For 7 years in the career, I have heard stories of parents beating their children; young girls getting raped; what happens to your body when you huff too much at one time (it is horrific, trust me). I've listened as tiny little people explain to me how "Mom is sleeping with our neighbor, and that's why Daddy doesn't love her anymore". I've seen drawings of guns, grenades, blood, pills, and killers. And through all of this, I have come to realize that until each of us does SOMETHING, these things will continue to happen.
Perhaps it is because I am rapidly approaching my 30's, or maybe it is just because of my upbringing; but, I can't help but feel guilty for not doing more all these years. How can I be so equipped with the knowledge to help and sit back and just LISTEN?! When I was in high school and college, chances are you'd find me performing some act of service somewhere for someone. I lived and breathed helping others. Then, as I got older and busier (read: more consumed with bureaucracy and politics of real life), I lost sight of what was really important to me for so long.
I think it was in the shower, probably while rinsing conditioner out of my thick, frizzy, brunette mane (that I love, by the way), that I came to the conclusion that I need to do more! I need to be able to die (hopefully a long time from now) knowing my children will understand what it means to serve others and to empathize with those who need. I need to feel like my life was more than just going through the motions, day by day. I need to stand up and DO!
So! As a way of starting to DO, I will be documenting people, things, and places in my life that, for me, embrace the DO mentality. Through this blog, I hope to inspire others to DO, and when the going's tough and it's increasingly harder to get off our butts and help others when we feel so low in our own lives, I hope this blog serves as a safe space to remember that it is never too late to try! The other day, my sister reminded me that New Year's Resolutions "are a marathon not a race". I think that statement speaks volumes to what I am trying to do here. I hope, if nothing else, you can take a piece of this blog and find your own inspiration to DO and create the kindness our world so desperately needs 364 days of the year ;).
Peace and Love,
Karen
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